We can be connected to everyone we know in at least 15 different ways! But that doesn't mean we are connected in any real way!

I feel bad not writing about my life here. Looking back, there used to be people who cared enough to read it! Some of my old posts are disgusting to me now, pretentious, narcissistic, narrow-minded, blind writing.

I used to think I was a genius! How unnattractive! One thing that has stuck with me is something former SJYS manager (and concertmaster) George Ko said to me at his farewell party at the office, with a bit of disgust/irritation in his voice: "Don't toot your own horn!"

If we put ourselves up high, we will be shamed and thrown down. If we put ourselves low, we will be lifted up.

I guess that is the summary of my life in college! I started college with extreme grandiosity in my aspirations (like that incredibly irritating song they do on American Idol that ends with "You, and you, and you, and you; you're gonna love me!") But God has brought me low, as he does all the proud, especially his sons whom he loves. I have been much disciplined by God, and am still in the process of learning the truth about myself. Alone, I am nothing, but in God, I am a beautiful creature. God alone is the Glorious One, who brings beauty and joy and power and love to those who abide in him like little children in their mother's arms.

This doesn't tie together with the title much... but I'm tired of trying to be smart and funny and getting people to worship me and my awesomeness. It angers me to see such underlying motivations in some of my earlier posts.

Let us not seek that which cannnot satisfy! Why do we spend so much time online almost connecting with everyone, really connecting with no one? Why do we work so hard to become worthy of praise, to be made much of? Why are we driven by fear of failure and rejection, and even at night our hearts do not rest? Why do we stalk the profiles of beautiful people who we desire? We are truly living in quiet desperation.

"Come unto him, all ye that labor, and he will give you rest!"

In Christ, alone, our hope is found.
...when fears are stilled, when strivings cease...

He is the beautiful one who gives himself to us who love him. Our desires to know truth and to love beauty, to be beautiful and to be loved -- from him, and to him, and through him are all these things.

Meaning to do it for the past 4 years, I have finally uploaded my January 2004 performance, with the Winchester Orchestra of San Jose directed by Henry Mollicone, of Franz Liszt's Piano Concerto #2.

This is by far the best performance of my pre-college years. I am amazed that it still sounds good to my ears. The orchestra is a community orchestra (my dad plays viola with them) and it has a wide spectrum of skill disparity between its members, and this is easy to hear. Nevertheless, we rehearsed well and we were all excited to play this piece, and the result is a performance that  I am proud to remember.

http://www.mediafire.com/?vmmyy2tmony

Dress rehearsal, with my lovely teacher Dr. Nataly Gingis, and the lovely director, Henry Mollicone
 

My dad and Dale King enjoying conversation of some kind


Mrs. Gingis and Me! After the first performance (Friday, 1/15/04, at Crossroads Church, San Jose)


Mrs. Gingis, Me, and Mom! :) I think she was very very exhausted that night.


Grandma, Me, and Grandpa!


A Whole Bunch of Family who came to see me!


umm... I guess I wasn't even 17 yet...



A whole bunch of family who came to see me!


My family!


My silliness?

     


My attempt at a classy pianist picture. Next time I should try not almost falling off the bench.


A bunch of friends who came to see me!


Mr. Thompson, happy and healthy...since then, struck by ALS and now almost immobilized in his bed all day. Please pray for him and his family. Such a lovely family. God be with them.



This is why I play the piano?


Post concert reception at my house!


Lindsay seems to be trying to teach me something...? The date has changed because it is after midnight.


Warming up with the orchestra before second performance (Sunday, 1/18/04, Congregational Community Church, Sunnyvale, CA)


Brian imitating me? Dad and Dale having a jolly time again.



Post-concert personal abandon. What am I wearing?


"one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four... watch the stick, silly!"





Yes, I am a silly man.


My absolutely adorable, lovely, and talented sister looks on in astonishment:



On my 17th birthday, playing airsoft war with a bunch of 12-15 year olds at a friend's house. Yes, I am a gangster.


Haha, don't even think about crossing my posse.


Formulating a battle strategy...


Preparing to perform feats of great danger and heroism


Strutting about awkwardly?


Receiving my medal of honor:




Birthday dinner at Chile's. Cousin Sarah and uncle Ari. His birthday is 3 days before mine.


Tsk tsk. Clear violation of Matthew 7:31. :) Pagans!


Having too much fun!


Yes, this pocketknife not only has knife, but it has a pen, and a penlight as well! How convenient! Too bad I lost it to airport security not long after. boo.


Our whole table of jolly family and friends, and I continue to stuff my face, as usual.


With ever-cool uncle Ari, super-sweet Grandma, adorable nephew John, and beautiful aunt Tereza.


I hope you enjoyed all that! I plan to write an update on my current life soon! Until then, may you be filled with joy and power and love from God who is so good.

Love, Alishan

P.S. Desiring God is an astonishingly great book. I had the best experience of my entire life three days ago just sitting in my bed in the morning and reading it for several hours. If you desire to know happiness, read this book!